In recognition of the 50-year anniversary of California's signing of the first no-fault law in the United States, Nathalie Paluch and the Law Office of Peter A. Lauzon was featured in the Long Beach Press-Telegram! Read the article here...
On the 50-year anniversary of California's signing of the first no-fault law in the United States, family lawyer Nathalie Paluch, of the Law Office of Peter A. Lauzon, celebrates with a look back on the history of this momentous law and what it has done for women and men who dissolved marriages in a more safe, transparent and equitable manner.
Recently, I learned a story of a special needs family divorcing that broke my heart, and the saddest part is that it is all too common. In this story, the parent who was the primary caregiver was inclined initially to give up everything, truly everything, in the name of the well-being of the kids. Sounds like a good parent who deeply cares, all of which is true, but think about the well-being of the kids and parents, and how they all are affected by these decisions including loss of parent, stability, health, income, and more.
Here is the fact pattern with some information redacted due to privacy: Family owns a home with a substantial amount of equity, there is some money in the bank, but very little compared to the home equity, something common especially in the State of California. The primary caregiver makes less income and can only generate that income with family support that will be lost. When the divorce was announced, the primary caregiver parent offered (or was pressured) to relinquish physical custody, to leave the home with no buyout of community property or ongoing benefits, something that was initially accepted.
In this situation, one parent, who made every sacrifice so that the other could generate an income despite the challenges of raising a special needs family, is concerned about how to make it through the year, losing her income, benefits, housing, equity and more while the other makes and retains a very comfortable lifestyle.
With an 80% divorce rate among families of children with special needs, the sad truth is that parents, many times who are primary caregivers both male and female, and many times already in very high stress or compromised positions themselves, are getting coerced, pressured, bullied, or just confused into accepting deals that put both themselves and their children into a less-than-ideal scenario.
A special needs parent that our firm represents [with permission given by our client] initially experienced something similar prior to our representation. Our client almost left the family home, just to get out of the marriage, with a willingness to relinquish the equity and the place the children were accustomed to living, thinking that was the best way of not adding more stress into an already difficult life situation. Our client was very overwhelmed by the idea of taking on court dates and paperwork in addition to the already overwhelming demands of a special needs child and not able to make clear choices. In the end, the Court afforded the rights granted to a person in this situation, above and beyond any initial "friendly" (read: coercive) offer by the other party.
Here's how the law really works. It is more simple than it seems. Community property says each party has 50% ownership of all property and assets established during a marriage. No party should struggle significantly more than the other, since each party built the life experienced by both. In matters with special needs families this is even more pronounced. Many times, one family member has a prolonged gap in work experience due to the needs of the child, the emergencies that arises, the therapies needed to be overseen, school management, advocacy, medical appointments, etc. But both members of many families are doing equal duty, divided in a way that can meet the needs of their unique situation.
No parent in this or any situation deserves to be bullied or to be denied his or her fair share. It isn't just about money or resources, it is about all people who love a child being able to be there with that child and for that child. For special needs children, where the demand is even more pronounced, it is even more important. Let's put an end to some of the bullying, confusion, coercion and alleged complexity in special needs divorces in the name of being "friendly." What is really friendly is when neither parent is on the verge of destitution and all people who love a child have the breathing room to be a positive influence in that child's life.
Negotiating the details of a divorce is likely to be stressful, but certain factors can make it even more difficult than necessary. Any disputes regarding the residence of each partner may cause discord and contention, but your living situation should be afforded careful thought before any major decisions are made. While moving out may seem like the best option, there are several potential consequences you might not expect. Consider the following four things that could happen if you move out.
Throwing a party is a trend for those recently divorced. What the party looks like depends on what the divorce looked like. Those who ended on friendly terms tend to have a tasteful get-together to express that they still have respect and consideration for each other and want their loved ones to as well. Those who had high-conflict divorces use the party as an opportunity to figuratively seek revenge on their ex through means such as burning belongings and gifts. Consider the following pros and cons as you decide if you want to have a divorce party.
While the holiday season can be great for family time, it is also bound to introduce some stresses for divorced parents and their children.
While no one gets married anticipating that the marriage will end, you may see your divorce coming long before it's filed. In order to guarantee that the process is smooth and the transition is as easy as possible mentally, financially and emotionally, it's important to plan ahead for a divorce. This can minimize stress and anxiety on you, your spouse and your children and guarantee that the legal process is quick and easy.
In an ideal situation, parenting has plenty of challenges. Something that's come to the forefront of the parenting landscape these days is co-parenting. There has been plenty written about the difficulties and breakthroughs of this subject. Everyone would agree that co-parenting isn't easy.
In recent years, divorce among adults over the age of 50 has become more common. In 2010, twice as many older adults were untying the knot than they were in 1990, according to a Bowling Green State University study.
No matter when a divorce happens, it poses certain financial challenges for both people once the dust settles. But women over 50 often have some unique challenges that younger women are less likely to face, especially if they have been married for some time or if they spent a significant amount of time during the marriage out of the traditional paid workforce.